All is well

I havent posted here since August 18.  I got an email from a dear friend last week asking if I was ok. The answer is a resounding YES. Last week I had my 9 month checkup with my oncologist. I am still cancer free. In January, I will have another CT scan. It will mark my one year anniversary of being free of cancer. I had my last chemo on March 3 2012. But I was pronounced cancer free in January.
I have hair again. That's pretty nice. It's post chemo curley.

Ive been spending a lot of time in Northern California. Here is the reason: my 9 month old grandson,  Oliver. He is without a doubt, the cutest baby that was ever born.

Hair again, feeling great!

It has now been 6 months since my last chemo. My hair is growing in curley as promised. Naturally Im feeling pretty good about it. And Im feeling great in general. The cancer is a distant memory, as new memories pile on top. I have so much to be happy about: my beautiful grandson Oliver.

All of my family in Northern California.

Here is a pic of the mom's daughters and my Mom's great grand babies.

The pictures say it all!

Trailing Clouds of Glory

This past weekend my dear friend and neighbor messaged me and asked if I had ever been to a medium. I told her my niece had and Mike came in. Since this is more about Mike than me, I have put an entry in the blog, Michael, My Son.
Michael My Son, Trailing Clouds of Glory

It's a new day

This morning I woke up with the familiar feeling of dread. Then I remembered that yesterday I was freed from that which I was dreading. I got the 6 month clean bill of health. The CT scan showed I was free of cancer. This is an important milestone for me. The doc told me that when I see him 3 months from now, I won't even need a CT scan. Obviously he is confident that I am cancer free. 

Me with Cris's baby Gabriel

Now I can look forward with no thoughts that block the future as I want it to be. I can flow my thoughts to all the happy times ahead. My hair can grow back. I will see the me that is really me when I look in the mirror. It will take a while to release the tension I have felt underlying my life. There were times when I didn't feel it at all. Then someone would tell me my hair looks good, as in growing back, and I would remember that I had had cancer.  If only people would accept me as I am and not remind me that I had cancer by commenting on my hair!

The cancer is gone

I went to the doctor today for the results of the CT scan done 2 weeks ago. The results were the same as three months ago: no cancer. Im breathing a big sigh of relief. I realize now that no matter how level headed I have been through all of this, it has been on my mind much more than I would like. I found myself making plans for how I would handle it if the cancer was back. I had to stop and find something else to think about. I kept busy doing things that give me joy while I waited. Even this morning I went to the Wild Animal Park instead of sitting around waiting for the appointment. 
I don't see the doc until September 27th. And I don't need a CT scan next time. That tells me that we are out of the acute phase of treatment. 
At this point I feel that I can go back to the life I knew. But it will be a life more appreciated, and also sober, knowing that others are not receiving this news. As I left the doctor's office, I looked down the hall to the chemo room and saw a woman in a bed receiving chemotherapy. Just 3 months ago, that was me. Not every one wins when they must dance with cancer. I shall be forever grateful to all those who have chosen to help bring about the cure that I am living with. This includes the doctors and nurses, the researchers and those that raise money for research.
And to all those who prayed for me, thank you for asking for a miracle for me. God heard your prayers.

C-T scan

Today I had a CT scan 3 months after my last chemo. I won't get the results for two weeks, because the doctor is out of town. So Im just going on with life. 
Sunday Im squeezing in another trip to N. Calif. As I looked at my calendar I realized that if I didn't go now, I wouldn't be free until the end of July. That's too long. I don't want to miss that much of Oliver's life. He is 5 1/2 months and growing fast.
I also want to see the rest of the family and spend time with Mom.
It's all good.

The end of a busy trip

I have two lives. One in Northern California. And one in Southern California.  For a long time I bemoaned the fact that I don't have one life in Northern California. But Frank, my husband, doesn't want to move north. After my experience with cancer, (lymphoma) I realized that I can look at this differently so that I don't have toxic emotions churning around in my body. I now realize that I can have it all. I can live in my sweet little house in Escondido surrounded by avocado trees, my wonderful husband, my dogs and cats, and the Wild Animal Park which feeds my body mind and spirit. My best friend Cris lives here with her two children and her husband.

My sister Shirley and I with the Graduate

And I have a whole rich life in Northern California as well. My daughter, son- in- law and grandson live there. As does my large extended family. If I time my trips right I can participate in the family rituals in Northern California as well.
I did so much while I was there. My visit was capped off with my brother's son, Austin's high school graduation. I am so proud of him! 

Catching up

Im still in Sacramento with Mom. But Im remembering a wonderful day in San Francisco. Katie and Bruce and Oliver and I went to Sunday Streets in the Mission District. It is a happening that could only be found in
San Francisco. Pictures are worth a thousand words. So here they are. Click on any picture for a full sized version slide show.

Saturday Morning

What a great time I have had with my grandson Oliver. I took over while Katie and Bruce got out for couple time, and golf and errands. Oliver is such a happy guy. He is always smiling at anyone who is looking at him. Last night Katie and Bruce went out to dinner and I took care of Ollie. At bedtime he wasn't quite ready. So I put him in his little rocker. It has toys hanging over him. He was just fascinated. But every now and then he looked at me and gave me a big grin. That's the way he is. He loves people and he loves to smile. 

Here I am with Ollie. 

San Francisco

Wow! It has been almost a week since I have blogged. I have just been having so much fun, there hasn't been time to blog. 

I flew to Sacramento on Tuesday. It's now Thursday and Im here in San Francisco with Katie, Bruce and Oliver (My daughter, son in law and grandson). 
Katie is at work. I sent Bruce off for some 'me' time and Im here with Oliver. He is such a sweetheart. He entertains himself pretty well for the most part. He has all sorts of choices: Swing,  Kicken' Coaster, Lying on the floor with toys overhead, Gramma's lap.
Bruce had just fed him when I arrived. But after about an hour and a half he started crying. I tried all the tricks. But nothing worked, so I fell back on the oldest trick in the book, a bottle! It was so funny to have him crying like the whole world was against him one minute and then totally focused sucking on that wonderful bottle filled with Mommy's milk. He seemed to be drifting off so I swaddled him and put him in the boppy pillow. But instead of sleeping he is just lying there watching his swing go back and forth and listening to the music.
I may have to pick him up again. So I had better post this.

Baby Time

Gabriel

You may be wondering why I haven't blogged in the last few days.  Here is the reason:
















I have been helping my friend Cris take care of him. Each afternoon Cris gets him all filled up with her milk then hands him over to me. I sit on the other side of the bed with him on my chest while she takes a much needed nap. He gets restless now and then so I change his position and pat and rock him until he goes back to sleep. These are precious times. So Im enjoying each moment. 
I have been taking a lot o pictures and playing with some apps to make them even more fun. Everyone is enjoying them.

Another Epiphany

I have come across a book that has helped me understand why we overeat in this country.  And what I can do as an individual to create a healthy eating style. 
You can read about it in my Maintaining a Healthy Body Blog

Team in Training Event

Last night was the kick off for the fall season of Team in Training events. It was a big rah rah send off. The energy in the room was high and confident. They introduced the coaches and talked about the events for the fall. I went because I wanted to get a better feel for the organization and I wanted to make myself available to volunteer and support the mission. They had an 'Honored Member' speak. An Honored Member is someone who has  experienced blood cancer and benefitted from the funds that are raised by the group.   The young woman is 27 years old. She had the same kind of lymphoma that I did. But she was very sick. She lost her insurance. The Leukemia Lymphoma Society paid for her treatment. It wasn't cheap let me tell you! She had all sorts of complications.  But she is healthy now. It is truly inspiring to see how much this organization helps people. It is what motivates these athletes to join up and raise money. They have raised over a BILLION dollars. The money has gone into research, patient services, education and lobbying. 
I am ambivalent about having to drop out. On the one hand it would be great to push myself to new achievements. But on the other hand Im not sure I would have been able to keep up. I woke up this morning feeling relieved that I won't be doing this event. 
The TNT people have my name. They know Im available to volunteer. So I will wait to hear from them.
After the Honored Member spoke they asked all of us who are survivors to stand up. I felt honored to be a member of this exclusive group of cancer survivors. The young woman who spoke said that cancer can either be the worst experience of your life, or the best. I don't really feel either way. It has been a valuable experience and an opportunity for growth. The amazing thing about it is that it didn't scare the bejeebers out of me!

My left foot

My ankle

I have stepped up my exercise program in preparation for walking the Nike Women's Half Marathon. I added a mile or so to my usual walk around the Wild Animal Park.  As I did so, an old injury began to assert itself. In 2009 I broke my ankle.  It healed nicely with lots of physical therapy. However I occasionally had some pain in the joint of my big toe and in the ball of my foot. There is no need to go into a long involved discussion of this. But the problem reared it's ugly head when I stepped up my walks.  Two days ago I went to a podiatrist. It was an interesting experience. They have a state of the art X-ray machine. Instead of lying down, you stand on it so that the X-ray shows what your foot looks like when it is bearing weight.

Here I am standing on the X-ray machine and here is how they line my foot up.
It turns out that my foot has compensated for the limited range of motion in my ankle.My  big toe joint has arthritis and a bone spur. The two long bones, called metatarsals that connect to my big toe and the one next to it are elevated. This makes the whole foot cattywumpus.  So. the more I walk, the more I aggravate it.
The doctor told me to go to a certain 'foot' store and buy a certain kind of shoe insert. After 6 weeks we will reevaluate. The sad thing is that I have to drop out of the half marathon.  My foot just can't handle the extra pressure.  I just want to be able to maintain the level of fitness I have now. The doctor said to let my foot tell me how much is too much. If it hurts I have to stop. Fortunately the elliptical machine doesn't bother it. And of course I can keep up my weights.
So I will find other ways to contribute to the Team in Training fund raising. I will speak at events and volunteer at aid stations.
I have learned to roll with the punches, make adjustments and just keep moving forward. It's all good!

Gabriel

Yesterday we welcomed Gabriel Fitchett into the world. He was born by C-section to my dear friend Cris Fitchett. Cris and I have been friends for 10 years.  I have been so busy I haven't had a chance to keep my blog up. But stay tuned. There is more to come!

I ha