Well being

It's the most amazing thing. Here I am being treated for cancer, yet I feel just fine. In fact I feel more than fine. I am finally at peace. As I move through my life, I realize that I have released all resistance.  I was struggling with some parts of my life. I couldn't find peace. It felt like there were no solutions to my perceived problems.
I was hurting over Mike's life. I have released that pain. I can think about him without crying. Of course I am sad. But Im not conflicted any more.
 I have wanted so much to move to northern California for so long.  I wasn't happy no matter where I was. My inner dialog went something like this: 'If only I could live in N Cal and be near my family, I would be happy'. Whether I was there or here in Escondido, I wasn't really happy.  I was driven by a restless energy, trying so hard to create a life that felt right to me.
Now, I have no choice but to be here in Escondido while I am being treated for  cancer.  I will need to have continued follow up here. It is a gift. I realize now that I love this life here. 

 San Diego County is one of the most beautiful places on earth. The weather is probably the nicest in the country, winter or summer.  I am 3 miles from the Wild Animal Park where I have spent endless hours wandering. The positive energy there is enough to keep me connected to my Source, or reconnect me when I have lost my connection.
I have my,loving husband, my dear little house, my gentle animals.  The peace surrounding this place could never be duplicated in Sacramento, with it's traffic and constant sirens and busyness.
I have been given a gift with this cancer. I have been given a whole new perspective with which to live my life.
I am free of Michael. He gave me that. I am free of my longings.  I am at peace.