Gaining weight.

I have been putting on weight since this whole adventure with cancer started. You would think the opposite would be true.  I lost 50 pounds 3 years ago. 
I maintained my weight loss by continuing the healthy habits I learned along the way. In order to loose the weight I had to alter my thinking in some very basic ways. I learned to think differently about myself and my ability to stabilize my weight through my brother Steve Campbells book and lectures. You can  find his book on his website: intelligentheart.com. 
There is more on this process on my blog Loosing weight while recovering from a broken ankle.
I have been hit with a lot of life altering experiences in the last year. Namely, the death of my son, the discovery that I had cancer, and the birth of my only grandchild, Oliver, along with other events that influenced how I thought about myself and my life.
After Mike's death, I vowed not to let it get me off track with the good decisions I had made for my life. Even though I was deeply grieving I managed to only gain a few pounds. In November I was given the diagnosis of lymphoma. In discussing my treatment with my doctor I asked if I would loose weight. He said, no. I would probably gain weight because of the high doses of prednisone I would take during and 4 days after each chemotherapy session. He told me not to try to loose weight during treatment.
This created the perfect storm for me. Here I was given a reason to eat what I wanted by none other than my doctor. Of course, he didn't say to go out and pig out. I didn't do that. But I did allow myself little treats each day. After all, I have cancer. Of course I can eat this or that.
As per predicted my weight began to creep up, a pound here, a pound there. At this point 3 months into treatment I have gained 15 pounds. It pains me to say that. But this blog is about honesty. This blog is my therapy. It is how I step back and take a look at what is going on with me and how I have gotten where I am today.
I am looking carefully at how my thinking has changed in the last year. This is the reason Ive been gaining weight, not what I put in my mouth. In the next entry I will talk about the mind games Ive been playing, and how they have affected my life.